Rose and Sam's Excellent Adventure

Afternoon.

Things are looking up here. Health is almost recovered, got paid from our first job ($1,000) and we’re photographically enabled again.

I apologise about my very wintery summary of Broome so far but I find it very difficult to write about things and explain them unless I’m taking the piss out of them it seems. I blame the bmxsafari.org website for this writing trait. Or maybe it’s my uncles blood in my veins which makes me want to write scathe. Either way, I got some gags in the breech, and this hairline trigger is itchy to be touched.

One eyed, one horned, flying purple paper eater
I might start off by briefly mentioning a small while after Rose drank the Nordic Cordial, she half ate a salad ‘wrap’ without unwrapping it from the paper first. In her credit, she DID unwrap the plastic first. I guess the paper was camo…

I’d leave it there, but I thought I’d paint the picture of Rose saying, with that scrunched up nose thing “This wrap is very papery” while she spits out a piece of grease-proof paper.

She then pulls out a piece of lettuce from her teeth with this accusitory look on her face like “you better not be paper, mister green lettuce” and then flicks it away with disgust.

Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Poop Poop Poop Poop
Briefly, I was pooped on my a bird. Sitting at my campsite on my blue chair, no shirt on. I hang up the phone after talking to Dad, drawing breath after telling him it’s on the up-and-up and splat. This huge, watery birdshit hits me square in the middle of my bare back with a noise remeniscent of hitting an omlette with a ping pong paddle

I look over my shoulder, thinking the sprinkler’s hit me or something then I look up. This fucking bird is waggling its ass, all satisfied. I wish I had and air-rifle.

“A Spear” – Apocalypse Now
Cycling home from Bvbro and I come across two aborigionals straddling the bike path. One to my left was throwing.. Nay THROWNING rocks around the place, while the other fella leisurely HURLS A GIDGI ACROSS THE ROAD AT A STREET SIGN FOR TARGET PRACTICE.

Ok, this may seem normal to Broome people, but I’m not used to people throwing spears around at 10:30 at night on a dark road. I was waiting for the spear in my ass when I was cycling past but alas. My fantastic ass prevails.

I got a few more things to write about which I don’t have the time or inclination to do so at the moment so I’ll jam them all into one paragraph, without punctuation, and without the backspace key… and in caps lock. Let’s call it the ‘MIRC Method’

OMG OK!!!1 THIS FUKN KID IN THE CAMPERVAN NEXT TO OUR TENT WAS SCREAMING LIKE ALEC-BOY FOR THE HELL OF SCREAMING AND CRYING FOR THE LAST 2 DAYS RITE!!! OMGAWDZ! AND IM LIKE, WALKING TO THE KITCHEN AND THERES A CAR WITH A WHEEL COVER SAYING “NO WORRIES” ON IT AND I WANTED A CROWBAR AND IM PRACTICING MY SWIMMING AND ITS GETTING PRETTY GOOD NOW COS I LIKE NEVA BEEN MUCH OF A BOSS SWIMMA U KNOW AND ITS GOOD TO HAVE SOMEONE TRAINING ME HOW TO SWIM RITE!??! I LOLED! I TOTALLY CALLED THE FIRE BRIGADE ON A SCRUB FIRE TODAY AND SAW THEM HOONING DOWN THE ROAD TOWARDS THE FIRE AND IM LIKE OMGAWDZ GO YOU HOMOEROTIC BUNCH OF HEROS TO THE FIRE AND SAVE ALL OF TEH ANIMALZ! KTHXBAI SIREN LOLZ!!!!111

Yeah, that was good. That’s a keeper.
kthxbai

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This entry was posted by Sam on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 5:32 pm and is filed under broome. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.